{"id":22,"date":"2011-02-05T23:39:00","date_gmt":"2011-02-05T23:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.spicypeanut.com\/?p=22"},"modified":"2013-01-21T03:20:25","modified_gmt":"2013-01-21T03:20:25","slug":"the-best-amount","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.spicypeanut.com\/?p=22","title":{"rendered":"The Best Amount"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Our most recent ultrasound largely focused on checking on the Spicy Peanut. These checks were rather on the basic side, though: checking to see if the baby had the right number of things. The number that was targeted tended to be a whole number greater than 1 and no more than 3.<\/p>\n<p>Exhibit A: Arms.<\/p>\n<div><a href=\"http:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/_hqN3i6oB8Oc\/TUzKKxhLzmI\/AAAAAAAABBI\/XziumXY0Vq4\/s1600\/SpicyPeanut_W10_UpperExt.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/_hqN3i6oB8Oc\/TUzKKxhLzmI\/AAAAAAAABBI\/XziumXY0Vq4\/s1600\/SpicyPeanut_W10_UpperExt.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>Those are apparently two arms. It looks much more like legs to me. In fact, if I wasn&#8217;t present when this image was captured I would assume it was a black and white close-up of an aquarium. Anne reminds me that it made much more sense when we saw it in motion.<\/p>\n<p>Arms also appear to be also known by medical people as &#8220;UPPER EXT.&#8221; The more you know.<\/p>\n<p>Exhibit L: Legs.<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_hqN3i6oB8Oc\/TUzMeFgUaGI\/AAAAAAAABBM\/jU4QAN-Xxig\/s1600\/SpicyPeanut_W10_LowerExt.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_hqN3i6oB8Oc\/TUzMeFgUaGI\/AAAAAAAABBM\/jU4QAN-Xxig\/s1600\/SpicyPeanut_W10_LowerExt.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Two legs&#8230;that is the best amount of legs. SUCCESS.<\/p>\n<p>The woman running the ultrasound machine was certainly a wizard. She slapped buttons around on that device amazingly fast. Was there a uterus-based video game that she trained on? Anne did have to have a full bladder for the procedure, which made things a bit uncomfortable, from what I hear. Luckily for everyone involved, however, she did not wet herself, either from the pressure of the scanner or joy. Or surprise &#8211; probably also good not to be surprised during an ultrasound.<\/p>\n<p>This image indicates that we had the wrong number of three-dimensional photographs taken: more than zero.<\/p>\n<div><a href=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_hqN3i6oB8Oc\/TU3Zaq2zrUI\/AAAAAAAABBY\/INQNcrkkSGs\/s1600\/SpicyPeanut_W10_3d.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_hqN3i6oB8Oc\/TU3Zaq2zrUI\/AAAAAAAABBY\/INQNcrkkSGs\/s1600\/SpicyPeanut_W10_3d.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>It&#8217;s like a papier-mache baby genius cast in a carved-out sponge. Is it scheming? I believe it is mid hand-rub. But at least it&#8217;s solid gold. In this economy it&#8217;s a good investment.<\/p>\n<p>I should note that this is technically labeled as a &#8220;4D Realtime&#8221; shot. Did that blow your mind? Did the age of Aquarius just dawn within your third eye? (Note: not the best amount of eyes.) But yes, that does remind us that the Spicy Peanut is part of the spacetime continuum. Perhaps even its tiny mass is exhibiting gravitons. Look at the chart below.<\/p>\n<div><a href=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_hqN3i6oB8Oc\/TU24X09467I\/AAAAAAAABBQ\/sQNEKYBtTEc\/s1600\/FetalWeight.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_hqN3i6oB8Oc\/TU24X09467I\/AAAAAAAABBQ\/sQNEKYBtTEc\/s400\/FetalWeight.jpg\" width=\"400\" height=\"295\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>A graph of human fetal weight over time. First off, apologies because this graph clearly hates America. (It uses the metric system.) At least age was not listed in the metric system (fortnights). Note the obvious vertical asymptote that the author has HIDDEN FROM VIEW.<\/p>\n<div><a href=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_hqN3i6oB8Oc\/TU3YBHBLTGI\/AAAAAAAABBU\/V_Erkoz4_6w\/s1600\/FetalWeight_SpicyPeanut.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_hqN3i6oB8Oc\/TU3YBHBLTGI\/AAAAAAAABBU\/V_Erkoz4_6w\/s400\/FetalWeight_SpicyPeanut.jpg\" width=\"400\" height=\"361\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/div>\n<p>Clearly, if the due date of August 30 is not met we can only hope that Anne&#8217;s uterus doesn&#8217;t become the event horizon for a planet-destroying singularity. Then we&#8217;ll have changed around the second bedroom for nothing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Our most recent ultrasound largely focused on checking on the Spicy Peanut. These checks were rather on the basic side, though: checking to see if the baby had the right number of things. The number that was targeted tended to be a whole number greater than 1 and no more than 3. Exhibit A: Arms. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.spicypeanut.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.spicypeanut.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.spicypeanut.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.spicypeanut.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.spicypeanut.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.spicypeanut.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":54,"href":"http:\/\/www.spicypeanut.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22\/revisions\/54"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.spicypeanut.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.spicypeanut.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.spicypeanut.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}